Thank You, Table 16...

You have restored my faith in restaurant patrons.

You came in and sat down, and remembered me from your last visit. You asked my name. You told me you knew I had been waiting tables at my store a long time.

Then you told me it was warm in the dining room. I said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is." You said, "We don't mind it so much, but you guys must be ROASTING!"

We laughed and I told you I would have the manager adjust the thermostat.

Thank-you, for thinking about the waitstaff. I have never had a table in seven years at this restaurant that cared whether or not we were sweating our asses off while we were serving you, and thank-you for voicing that to me.

You, my friends, are getting free dessert the next time you sit in my section. Thank-you for your empathy! It was much appreciated after the long week I have had.

This Time I'm Ready, Bitches...

Tomorrow is Mother's Day, the busiest restaurant day of the year, also known as The Day from Hell, Forget About a Smoke and/or Piss Break Day, and Run Your Ass Off Day. This time I am bringing a Mother's Day survival kit. Included in my kit:

1 Transdermal Nicotine Patch
1 16 oz. Rockstar Energy Drink (0 carb, blue can)
1 20 oz. Quadruple Shot Skinny French Vanilla Latte (to be procured @ my drive-thru coffee kiosk on the way to work)
1 Pair Old Navy flip-flops, in purple (to be changed into immediately after my shift)
1 Pack Camel 99's Full Flavor (to be smoked immediately after my shift)
1 Six Pack Hornby's Hard Cider (to be consumed immediately after my arrival home from work)

Bring it on, motherbitches, this time I am ready for you!